Let's Play-ers EVERYWHERE!

I spend almost all of my free time watching YouTube, and almost every time I will be watching a well-known YouTuber who is known for their gaming. And I love it, I think at would be just amazing to create my own channel and entertain people just by doing something I love; gaming. There is a massive demand for gaming channels on YouTube and it's become so popular now that the majority of the conversations I hear and participate in are about games that certain YouTubers have played or the YouTubers themselves.
One day I really do want to scrounge up the money to get decent shit so I can make my own YouTube channel and annoy the shit out of everyone with my squeaky 12-year-old-girl-sounding voice, but that causes major conflict in what I want to do for my career. For a few years now, I've had my heart set on becoming an educational psychologist, who is kind of like a teacher that specialises in how to help a child's disability and can create ways of helping that child learn and function well in society, and up until about June this year, that's all I wanted to be. Being the complete lazy-ass that I am, I tend to procrastinate a lot, and that time I'm not using goes into watching my favourite YouTubers such as JackSepticEye, Markiplier, CinnamonToastKen, The Game Theorists (and Film Theorists), VanossGaming, MiniLadd, Dathi De Nogla, Good Mythical Morning, etcetera, etcetera... and I have fallen in love with the idea of sharing my love of video games and stupid nonsense commentary through YouTube. It's just so awesome, and with all the influence YouTubers have these days, there is so much good that I could do with the influence I could get, like how Mark uses what he earns from doing his videos to charities, it's amazing and incredibly inspirational.

But here's my problem: I love the ideas of me having either of these as my career, and I can't decide.
I mean, yeah, I'm not just going to choose YouTube over getting a degree, I would still go off to Uni and get my degree in psychology no matter what, but I want to do YouTube as well. I could always begin making videos during Uni, like I know Jack did, but if those videos do well and it is possible to make YouTube my career, what do I do? I have a degree that I can use to help kids get through school, or I can spend my time making funny moments videos and maybe one day be good enough and earn enough to donate to a charity, which would definitely be great because I do really want to be able to donate something to help others, but I just don't have that kind of disposable income - I pretty much have no income at all seeing as I don't have a job (my parents give me money ^-^) - and I feel bad for not doing something.
I guess I'll figure it out as I go, that method's been working for me pretty well so far...

On a side note, I have almost finished this year! I have until the 6th when classes finish, then I just have to show up for all my exams, then an awards ceremony, then year 12 orientation... Okay, so it does still sound like a while, but once actual classes finish, I don't have to be at school all day, I just have to show up for an hour or so, then leave and enjoy the rest of my day. Year 12 orientation, however, is not going to be so much fun. It's four. Days. Long. Last year's orientation was only like, one day where we got holiday homework and found out our classes and teachers, why does this one take four damn days?! How much homework will we be getting, holy crap I can see it now... no one will ever see me again. I'm gonna need a 260 page notebook for all the homework I'll be doing. Sigh.
Only one more year of this...

~ Bee.

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So Much Work and How Schools Kill Our Self-Esteem

I only have a few more weeks left in school now, and so the teacher's have decided to pile on the SACs! Whoopiee!
For those who don't know a SAC is the abbreviated version of School Assessed Coursework, it's the standardised assignments we have to do in VCE to complete each class (that is if we do well enough in them). So far I have two SACs to do next week; my Literature SAC on Tuesday, and my Psychology SAC on Wednesday. Which means I'm going to be studying my ass off for those.

Another thing I have to do is write yet another speech, this time for English. And my original idea to do a bash on school rules isn't working out to plan, as there is pretty much diddly squat in the way of statistics of any kind for that topic. However, there are for body image and teenagers being exposed to such outrageous beauty/body standards, so I can still use my idea of school rules, but instead of using it as the entire speech, it will be an argument in something bigger: that schools are just as to blame for unfair beauty standards and low self-esteem in teenagers as the media (I may have to shorten this a little). It is true as well, having those rules in place to prevent us experimenting with hair colours or painting miniature pieces of art on our nails, schools are just telling us that we are not allowed to be different or unique in any way, and that we must be like everyone else and act like everyone else. The media does the same thing, with magazines shouting "GET YOUR BIKINI BODY NOW" or "HOW TO GET THIS CELEBRITY'S LOOK", when really it's like they're saying "WE THINK YOU ARE FAT AND NEED TO LOOK LIKE THIS SUPER SKINNY MODEL" and "LOOK LIKE THEM SO WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOU" and this is a really shitty way to try to get us to buy things, the media is bullying us into thinking we need to buy this weeks issue of "Buy Me, I'll Make You Look Better than Whatever You Are" when really what we need is a magazine that tells us what we really want to hear: that you are all beautiful because you are different, and embrace others differences.

We really need more positivity in this world, all I hear from my classmates at school is "I really hope this teacher isn't here today, I want to go home", "Oh, I heard from *whoever* that *the other one* said that *she* did this and *blah blah blah*". I hate having to hear that day in and day out, I hardly ever hear people get excited about a class unless their is food or a movie involved. I get that some classes may not be what you are passionate about, but there must've been a reason you chose it, because, well, you did choose it, and besides, I know there isn't much longer left before I am completely left to my own devices in the world, I won't have to spend an entire day at school, or an entire 5-day week at school, I'll be out working every day, having to vote, pay taxes and all that comes with becoming an adult. I didn't realise this until this year, twelve years into my schooling, that I should really make the best of being in high school, and try to do as well as I can, show up to every class and try as hard as I can to keep up with the workload. My parents had even told me at the end of last year when I chose my subjects, "Why don't you have any fun subjects here? These are all brain-heavy classes." and yeah, they are classes that make me use my brain, but I've always felt that is what I like, I like to use my brain to solve hard maths equations or to think about how this certain novel is meant to symbolise the American Dream. They are my fun subjects. They are the ones I saw in the huge list of classes that I felt I would enjoy doing the most, and as it turns out, I love each and every one of those classes. Sure, I'll have a day or two when I'm not feeling up to it, but I try to go and do it anyway. I know not everyone can be like that, and sometimes it is definitely okay to have a day off of work and responsibilities, you just can't let that one day become all of them. Everyone is strong enough to overcome pretty much anything, you really just need to believe it, and if you just can't find that strength, try to find and surround yourself in others that do believe you can do it, and you may just find yourself thinking the same way and before you know it, you've leaped over that hurdle you thought was so big you'd never be able to.

Yeah, all in all, just try your hardest to be the best possible you, because with all the possible futures, I'm sure you'll turn out to be the best you of the lot.

Crap I rambled there a bit forgot where I was going with any of that...
Oh well I felt that all if it needed to be said, and if you really do feel down in the dumps, there will always be someone out there who loves you and wants to help you, go and find them and tell them what's wrong. You never know, they might know just how to help you.

~ Bee.





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